Google+ Followers

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Black men and domestic violence


I'm not going to do like everyone else and be a hypocrite by using Rihanna and Chris Brown because domestic abuse within homes and "actual" married couples have been happening before they were born and before their parents were born.

 I was in the court house, and when I entered the court room there were sooooo many black men there for DV hearings, and there were so many black women in there tesifying against their partners for domestic abuse. What's even more disturbing is the bulk of the black women telling the judge they wanted to drop the charges. One case came from an attorney reading the many details of some of the cases. He said a guy came in choked the mother of his child and his sister but the woman involved wanted to drop the charges. There was one black woman, very pretty, looked to be in her early 20's, who was also in court for the same thing and she said "He knocked me so hard to the ground I couldn't move, but I don't want to press charges". I don't get it, but I can't say I'm shocked because as I always say I frequent forums and black women are so male absorbed. Like the story about the former football player divorcing his wife and hr finding out online, black women were saying "Well at least she respected her man" despite them also mentioning how controlling he was towards her.

I was so disturbed seeing so many black men raise their hands for DV, it was so horrific to witness. But the black community we glamorize mistreatment of women, let alone BLACK WOMEN.


The statistics are overwhelming...

African Americans African Americans, especially African American Women, suffer deadly violence from family members at rates decidedly higher than for other racial groups in the United States. However, it is observed that research concerning family violence among African Americans is inadequate.
  • Overall, African Americans were victimized by intimate partners a significantly higher rates than persons of any other race between 1993 and 1998. Black females experienced intimate partner violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and about 22 times the rate of women of other races. Black males experienced intimate partner violence at a rate about 62% higher than that of white males and about 22 times the rate of men of other races.
    Callie Marie Rennison. and Sarah Welchans, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 178247, Intimate Partner Violence (2000), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/ascii/ipv.txt
  • African-American women experience significantly more domestic violence than White women in the age group of 20-24. Generally, Black women experience similar levels of intimate partner victimization in all other age categories as compared to White women, but experience slightly more domestic violence. (Estimates are provided from the National Crime Victimization Survey, which defines an intimate partner as a current or former spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Violent acts include murder, rape, sexual assault, robbery, aggravated assault, and simple assault.)
    Callie Marie Rennison, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 187635, Intimate Partner Violence and Age of Victim, 1993-1999, at 4, (2001), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/abstract/ipva99.htm

We love seeing men mistreat black women, especially certain types. Doesn't matter how good of a person she can be, or what she represents as a person, somehow her worth is valued by how many times she can get abused by a male in any form. We run to the latest blog to see what celebrity is dogging out the latest groupie, vixen or stripper so we can celebrate him and give him praise. Ironically on a certain blog there was a story about a female "playing" as they say a male athlete and the feedback was totally different. She was called "mean", "dirty", "Evil" and "dumb" for not accepting his advances and using it to her advantage. I don't get it because on any other given night the same people are preaching the exact opposite. Why is it sad when the male is the one getting "played"?

I know why because we still operate by a very male dominant society. In the black community it's all about uplifting black men. We hate to see black men being mistreated because somehow it still reminds us of racial history, of the all time epic battle White male dominated society vs. Black man trying to make it, in it. So when we see black men carry on this behavior disrespecting women we don't blame him or crucify him too much because of that history, and well because abused black women are seen as worthless. Black women are already viewed as the ignored group, so who cares to take the time to value, an unvaluable asset? Nevermind black women were apart of the horrific history of slavery as well and we had to battle the white man and the white man, now we're battling the black man and the loyalist black woman. Who excuses our ignorant behavior? That's right, NO ONE!

Remember the case of Jovan Belcher the NFL player and him killing the mother of his child? Everyone took his side and automatically accused her of doing something even though she did NOTHING, and there was no proof of her doing anything. If you're not familiar with the story then here it is: http://www.wfaa.com/sports/football/KC-police-Chiefs-player-involved-in-shootings-181674501.html
So I'm not shocked to see the many black men in court for domestic abuse, it's not like they're going to be given a good lecture about it because our community doesn't care. We think it's funny when black women are abused, it's called putting a woman in her place even when it's not warranted. Anything to make sure black men stay happy. I have a niece, a mother and a sister who have both been apart of this kind of thing and it's nothing to applaud at all, especially up close and personal. I will go to jail for life if I have to witness my niece become another victim because her community doesn't value her worth.

I weep for the black girls and women of tomorrow.

4 comments:

  1. hi, its a great article you have shared with us thanks for sharing i like it too much....

    www.faceforwardla.org

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are very welcome! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

      Delete
  2. I enjoyed this article. We must continue the fight against DV and other forms of injustice aimed at females. Black men will coninue to fill the prisons and morgues of this country as long as we operate on the, "might makes right" philosophy. Domestic violence often spills into the street.
    Ray Rice was on borrowed time. The clock started the first time that he ever tried to dominate a woman. We push the boundaries of decency until it becomes obvious to everyone that what we are doing is reprehensible.
    The excuses must end. We men must be made to take responsibility for what we do.Anyone with half a brain knows that a slap from a woman is nothing like a left hook from a professional athlete who is in the weight room everyday.
    DV is never the woman's fault. The man made the decision to inflict pain and fear on her. We need to get past the lame excuses. Also, realize that often battered women find it difficult to leave. There is something called battered women syndrome.Abuse has profound negative effects on the victim. So now let us have an honest dialogue as to how we can end this and make the world a safer place for my children and your's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for writing this. This is refreshing coming from a man, and I also believe if men are being abused they should speak up too, or people should help me speak out. But domestic abuse affects women past and present, historically, at a greater rate then it ever has affected men.

      We have to move past gender labels within patriarchy, sexism and misogyny that denies men the right to cry, hurt or be empathetic. These emotions allow men to empathize and protect women. Our culture denies men these traits which creates a false idea of masculinity, and it creates a monster army of men who see women as inferior, weak and a symbolization of something to dominate.

      Delete